there's paper in my vomit.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
