are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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