can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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