Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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