and you said cock pushups were impossible
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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