hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
