Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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