youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
nutella sex= disaster
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Mom said you looked used
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
