smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
