I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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