She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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