You made me cry and you don't even care
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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