I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
