oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she peed on how many people?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
