Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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