At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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