Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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