that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
