I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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