MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
