Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
