And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
