just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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