did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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