All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
