she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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