The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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