And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it glows. i had to have it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
