Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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