Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
