Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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