What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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