marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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