sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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