even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
