Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everclear isn't food dammit
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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