So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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