His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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