one two three fourrrrnication!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
