i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have aggressive nipples.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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