Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
