We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
