Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
