so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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