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I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
