I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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