It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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