I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize