dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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