Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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