Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
