Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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