He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
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I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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