God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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