You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize