my sisters under your porch take her home
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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