oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
