i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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