remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
