I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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