We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize